


Bucky Barnes' Day Off

by sunflowerogers (orphan_account)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Bucky is Ferris, Fury is Rooney, M/M, Natasha is Bucky's cousin who is pretty much a sister, Steve is Sloane, Tony is Cameron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 05:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2336957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/sunflowerogers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bucky Barnes' Day Off

**Author's Note:**

> This came out of a dream I had last night.
> 
> (This fic is probably better on mobile)

Wednesday, 6:48 AM. Bucky would have got up to go to school that morning...but he had other plans. Much, much better plans. Because anything is better than having to go to school right? Right.

"What's the matter, James?" Bucky's father asked him. Bucky lay there, staring blankly at his bedroom wall behind his mother. He hasn't closed his mouth for a few minutes, so his mouth was dry and starting to drip with saliva. He might've looked absolutely ridiculous, but this works every time; his parents fall for almost everything Bucky pulls on them.

"Feel his hands. They're cold and clammy." His mother mutters to his father.

Bucky attempts his finest raspy voice and speaks softly. "Please don't make a fuss, I'm fine. I'll get up." And that he does before his mother pushes him down by the shoulder. She's fallen for it. Success.

"I have a test today."

"No!" His mother protests and pushes him back down.

"I have to take it. I want to get into a great college so I can have a fruitful life..." Another big wheeze, a cough, and his parents both sigh in sympathy.

But, of course, that's when his cousin Natasha walks into his bedroom. She leans against the doorframe, her neatly straightened rust-orange hair falling softly against her shoulders. Bucky grins at her and she scoffs, a frown residing on her face.

"Oh, fine. What's this? What's his problem?" Natasha grimaces and folds her arms.

"He doesn't feel well." Their mother turns to face her

Natasha lets out a forced laugh. "Yeah, right. Dry that one out and you can fertilise the lawn."

"That's enough, Natasha." Their father speaks up, scowling at his daughter. Oh, this is going to be a good day.

"You're not falling for this, are you? Tell me you're not falling for this."

Bucky snorts and quickly covers it up as a cough when his mother turns to face him. "Is that Natasha? I can't see that far. Tasha? Tash...I..."

"Pucker up and squat, Buck." Natasha squints angrily in Bucky's direction, his wink only making her madder. Simultaneously, it made Bucky very smug indeed.

"Thank you, Natasha. Get to school." Their mother snaps.

Natasha lets out an angry huff. "You're really letting him stay home? I can't believe this. If I was bleeding out my ears, you guys'd make me go to school. It's so unfair."

To be completely honest, this all makes Bucky want to giggle with joy. But he knows he can't, or else his plan would fall apart. His parents would lose all trust they have towards their only son, their 'perfect son' who does so well in school and gets excellent grades in almost every subject. Oh, if they only knew.

"Please don't be upset with me, Natasha. Be thankful that you're fit and have your health. Cherish your health." Bucky smirks at her again.

"Oh, I wanna puke." Natasha storms out of his room and if she weren't so quick with her feet, she would have stumbled down the stairs and nearly killed herself at the speed she shuffled down the stairs.

Bucky's parents turn back to him, smiling softly. "How will you be, Hun?" His mother asks, brushing some of his hair off his forehead.

"I'll be okay. I'll just sleep. Maybe I'll have an aspirin around noon." Bucky smiles weakly and slowly blinks

"I'm showing houses to the family from California today but I'll be in the area. My office'll know where I am, if you need me." His mother smiles, pecking a kiss on his cheek. "I hope you feel better, Pumpkin."

"I'll check it with you, too. Get some rest." His father smiles and gently pats his shoulder.

"It's nice to know I have such loving, caring parents. You're both very special people." Bucky coughs to cover up his snigger at his own comment. His father might've given him a concerned look for that, but he doesn't need to know anything more than that his son was probably going to pass from sickness.

His parents walk to his door and turn to face him for one last goodbye. "We love you, sweetie. Call us if you need anything at all."

"M'kay." Bucky replies, closing his eyes slowly. He hears his door close and the lock click into place. Bucky's eyes shoot open and he sits up in his bed, a wide grin on his face.

They bought it.

Incredible. One of the worst performances of his career and his parents never doubted it for a second.

Bucky stands up and walks over to his curtains. He draws them back and smiles at the bright morning sunshine. It's a beautiful day. How can he be expected to handle high school?

It's Bucky ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If he goes for ten, he's probably going to have to barf up a lung. So, he has to make this one count.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Bucky goes to the bathroom and undresses. He turns on the shower water to that perfect heat he always has it at. Not scorching hot, but just enough to make his skin red when he steps out.

He does actually have a test. That wasn't bullshit. That he cared about it is, though.

It was on European socialism. What's the point? He's not European. He doesn't plan to be European. So, who gives a shit if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists and it still wouldn't change the fact that he doesn't own a car.

John Lennon said something on his first solo album. "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." A good point there. Afterall, he was the Walrus. Bucky could be the Walrus and he'd still have to bum rides off people.

Bucky pulls on a nice white t-shirt, his favourite black hoodie, some tight-fitted jeans and some black leather boots and relaxes on his bed.

One very serious danger is playing sick is that it's possible to believe your own act. That and boredom. A lot of people ditch and feel great for about an hour. Then they realize there's nothing to do. TV and food. Bucky ditched once and got so bored he did homework. Figure that shit out.

You have to plan things out before you take the day off. Otherwise you get all nervous worrying about what to do and all you get is grief and the whole point is to take it easy, cut loose and enjoy.

You blow your day and at about three o'clock, when everybody's out of school, you're going to wish you'd gone to school so you could be out having fun.  
Avoid the misery. Plan your day. Do it right.

Bucky dials a number on his phone and waits for Tony to pick up. It's takes a long time, but eventually, Tony's weak voice answers.

"Hello?" Tony croaks.

"Tony, babe! What's happening?"

"Very little."

"How do you feel?"

A pause. "Shredded."

"Is your mother in the room?"

Tony sighs. "She's not home. Where are you?"

"At home. I'm taking the day off. Get dressed and come over."

"I can't, stupid." Tony coughs weakly, almost as if he's adding dramatic effect. "I'm sick."

Bucky rolls his eyes. "It's all in your head. Come on over."

"I feel like complete shit, Bucky. I can't go anywhere." Tony's voice has a hint of anger in it, but clearly his sickness weakens the full effect.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Now, come on over and pick me up." Bucky disconnects and scratchs his phone against his chin. He imagines Tony telling himself he's dying and Bucky redials. "You're not dying. You just can't think of anything good to do."

If anybody needs a day off, it's Tony. He has a lot of things to sort out before he graduates. He can't be wound up this tight and go to college, his roommate'll kill him. Pardon the French, but Tony is so tight, if anybody shoves a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

 

Bucky's painting a remake of David on his computer when he rings Tony again. It's been half an hour and Bucky isn't waiting any longer.

"I'm serious, man. This is bullshit, making me wait around the house for you."

"Why can't you let me rot in peace?" Tony's croaky voice replies.

"Tony, this is my ninth sick day. If I get caught, I won't graduate. I'm doing this for me, I'm doing this for you."

"Do you know what my diastolic is?"

"Be a man. Take some Pepto Bismol, get dressed and come over here. You're boring me with this stuff."

"Oh, shut up."

A second phone line rings and Bucky gently puts his finger on it. "Squeeze your cheeks for a second. I got another call."

"I'm squeezing."

He puts Tony on hold, clears his throat and drags out his words. "H-hell-o?"

"James?" His father's voice asks. "You sound miserable."

"Really? Darn! I thought I was improving." Bucky lets out a horrible cough and continues talking to his father.

"Were you sleeping?"

"I was trying to do some homework." Bullshit, but it worked. "I'm so worried about falling behind. Dad?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Can you hold on a second?" Bucky gently puts his finger on Tony's line.

"Sure, pal. Are you alright?"

"Just a little phlegm on the phone. Hold on." He puts his father on hold and speaks to Tony. "Tony, it's my dad."

"Oh, that's just great. Are you busted? No, you know what? Keep me out of it."

"I'm not going to get busted, Tony." Bucky shrugs. "He's just checking up on me. Now, listen to me. I'm working on getting some heavy bucks out of him. And if you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.

Tony laughs. "You've been saying that since the fifth grade."

Bucky goes to his dad's line again. 

"Dad? All this talking has made me light-headed, I think I oughta have a lie down."

"Hey, take a hot bath and wrap and then, uh, wrap a hot towel around your head."

"Wrap a hot towel around my head?"

"Yeah, then uh, make yourself some soup. Take a nap. Okay?"

"Okay, bye dad."

"Bye, pal. Love you."

"Love you too."

He's so disappointed in Tony. Bucky bets twenty bucks that he's sitting in his car debating about whether or not he should go out.

 

And that's exactly what Tony's doing. He's muttering to himself in the driver's seat of his shitty car. "He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty--" Tony closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "THIS--This is ridiculous, okay? I'll go. I'll go. I'll go! ...Shit." Tony turns the engine on angrily. Not a moment later, he turns it back off. He starts aggressively hitting the passenger seat, yelling "GOD DAMN IT!" Tony starts the engine again and belts at the top of his lungs for a while before turning the engine off once more. "Forget it." Tony mutters and gets out of the car. He walks towards the house and right before he gets to the door, he turns back and walks to the car. He starts jumping wildy in anger and just cannot decide.

 

Steve sits miserably in his boring as hell history class. His blue Henley sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, his head rests on his hand as he stares out the classroom window.

Mr Sitwell's voice drones on in the background of Steve's thoughts. "Roosevelt's health had seriously deteriorated by the time he met with Churchill and Stalin at Yalta." He sneezes. "Pardon me."

The classroom door opens then, one of the school nurses walking in. She crosses the room to greet the Sitwell and whispers in his ear. Steve watches intently, along with the rest of the students in his class. Sitwell's face drops when he's delivered an obvious piece of disturbing news. He nods grimly to the nurse and she looks around the room at the kids.

"Steve Rogers?" She asks.

Steve sits up in his seat, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"May I see you outside for a moment? There's been an emergency." Her voice is harmonic and calming.

As he gathers his books, he looks at Barton, the boy sat next to him, and whispers, "Dead grandmother."

The nurse gently has her hand resting on Steve's shoulder as they slowly walk down the hallway.

"I'm truly sorry to tell you this, honey." The nurse inhales. "Your father called. Your grandmother just passed."

"Oh..." Steve holds a hand to his mouth, forcing himself to look like he was about to cry. The nurse nods solemnly and pulls Steve into a warm hug. He hugs her back and smirks, Bucky being the only thing on his mind.

 

Tony has just finished a phone call with Mr Fury, the _dean_ of the school, about Steve's grandmother. Sure, Tony had nailed Steve's father's voice, but asking for Steve to be outside the school by himself? Fury could think something's up. So, Bucky slapped Tony, Tony asked for Fury to be there too, Bucky slapped him again and Tony hung up.

Tony rubs the side of his face, a deep frown running across it. "Why'd you hit me?!"

"Where's your brain?!"

"Why'd you hit me?!"

"Where's your brain?!"

"I asked you first." Tony snarks.

Bucky sighs, folding his arms across his chest in defeat. "How can we pick up Steve if Fury's going to be there with him?!"

Tony scoffs. "I said for him to be there alone and you freaked!"

"I didn't hit you! I...lightly slapped you."

"You hit me." Tony argues and Bucky rolls his eyes. "Look, don't ask me to participate in your stupid crap if you don't like the way I do it! I was home, sick. You get me out of bed, being me over here, make me jeopardize my future, make me do a phoney phone call on Nicholas Fury, dean of students, a man who could squeeze my nuts into oblivion and then you deliberately hurt my feelings."

"I did not--I didn't deliberately hurt your feelings." Bucky frowns.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, really."

Tony glares at Bucky. "Hey, Bucky? Have a nice life." He turns and heads out of the room.

Bucky sighs. "Tony?"

"Stick it up your ass, James." Tony doesn't stop walking.

"Tony, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jam you. It was uncalled for."

Tony stops and turns to face his friend. "You're serious?"

"Dead serious."

Tony smiles. He appreciates Bucky's apology. "Thanks."

"You did screw up through, right? Not that it was necessarily all your fault. Right?"

"Why?" Tony asks suspiciously.

"Well, to fix this situation, I'm going to have to ask you for a small favour."

Tony's jaw drops.

 

The garage door opens slowly and Bucky gapes at the car. He's giddy with excitement. Then there's Tony, frowning and looking like he's afraid for his life. His face is ashen, the end of the world is at hand.

"Nineteen-sixty-one Ferrari two-fifty GTS California." Tony's voice is monotone; dead and weak. "Less than a hundred were made. It has a market value of two-hundred and sixty-five thousand dollars. My father spent three years restoring it. It is joy, it is his love, it is his passion..."

"It is his fault he didn't lock the garage."

"Bucky, what are you talking about? My father loves this car more than life itself. We can't take this out."

"A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile." Bucky laughs and continues staring at the vehicle in awe.

"Apparently, you don't understand. He never drives it, Bucky. He just rubs it with a diaper every now and then."

Bucky snorts.

"It's not funny, Bucky. Hey, remember that how insane he went when I broke my retainer? That was a small piece of plastic, this is a Ferrari. We're not taking this car out of it's garage. The car moves an inch across the floor, my father goes batshit crazy. Over a car, Bucky. _A car_."

"Que bella." Bucky kisses his fingers for effect and runs his hand over the bonnet. "We can't pick up Steve in your car, Tony. Fury'd never believe Joseph Rogers drives that piece of shit."

"It's not a piece of—"

"It's a piece of shit. Don't worry about it." Bucky pats Tony's shoulder. "I don't even have a piece of shit. I have to envy yours."

"Oh, thanks."

"Look, I'm sorry but there's nothing else we can do." Bucky slips into the driver's side and makes a satisfied moan.

"He knows the mileage, Bucky. He has it tattooed on his wrist."

"He doesn't trust you?"

"He doesn't trust anyone but himself."

"Alright look, this is real simple. Whatever miles we put on it, we'll take off."

Tony turns his head to raise an eyebrow at Bucky. "How?"

Bucky grins proudly. "We'll drive home backwards."

Tony shakes his head. "No. Forget it. I'm putting my foot down, Bucky. You'll have to think of something else--"

Bucky starts the engine and revs it loudly over Tony's protests. He pushes his foot down on the accelerator slowly and drives out of the garage, leaving Tony standing there.

"We could rent a nice Cadillac! My treat! We could call a limo! How about that?!"

Bucky reverses so he's in front of Tony again. "Come on, live a little!"

 

Bucky parks the car directly out the front of the high school, the roof of the car wound down.

"Are you crazy?!" Tony's shouts from the back of the car. "Put the top back up!"

"This is perfect top-down weather." Bucky protests.

"What about Fury?"

"Tony, the more obvious we are, the less likely we are to get caught."

"That makes no sense." Tony mumbles.

"The adult mind is a suspicious machine, my friend. Now, stay down." Bucky relaxes and throws his arm around the back of the seat.

Tony squeezes himself lower and continues to argue. "How come it's my dad's car and I'm taking all the risk and I have to ride back here?"

"I don't have an explanation." Bucky replies simply.

 

"Once again let me say how deeply saddened I am by your loss." Fury sympathises with Steve.

"Huh?" Steve is stung back to reality from a rather excellent day dream.

"Were you close to your grandmother?" Fury asks.

"Oh! Um, yeah. Very. She was a terrific lady, very hip, very old. Yeah." Steve scratches the back of his neck and hears a familiar voice.

"Steve! Son!"

Steve looks across at the Ferrari, impressed and Bucky's choice.

Bucky's looking out from underneath his hat. It keeps his eyes hidden, but just enough so he can still see ahead of him. Bucky puts on his best Joseph Rogers voice and calls out to his boyfriend. "Hurry along now!"

"I guess that's my dad." Steve turns to Fury. "I'll be seeing you around, Mr Fury. Thank you, again, for your warmth and compassion. You are a truly beautiful man."

Fury raises an eyebrow at Steve. "Why, thank you, Steve."

Steve hurries down the stairs and over to Bucky, who's waiting with a smirk on his face. "Hi, there, handsome." Steve smiles.

"Oh, I'm handsome?" Bucky questions and looks over Steve's shoulder, waiting for Fury to disappear back inside the building. Once he does, Bucky places his hand on Steve's cheek and asks, "Have you got a kiss for daddy?"

"Are you kidding?" Steve smirks and kisses Bucky.

"Y'know one of the rules in this car is 'under no circumstances can Steve Rogers blow Bucky Barnes in this car'." Tony's head peered out from under the roof cover.

"That hasn't exactly taken place...yet." Bucky chuckles, not taking his eyes off Steve as he hears Tony making puking noises.

Steve laughs and they both get into the car.

"Hi, Tony. You comfortable?" Steve greets his friend.

"Hi, Steve. No."

"So, what're we gonna do?" Steve asks/

"The question isn't 'what are we gonna do?', the question is 'what aren't we going to do?'."

"Don't tell me we're not going to take the car home. Please." Tony mutters.

If you had access to a car like this would you take it back right away? Would you give up feeling like a ton just to ease your best friend's tension?  
Neither would Bucky.

Bucky speeds out of the grounds and onto a long, straight road. Bucky takes his hand off the wheel for a moment to throw his hat into the air and away from the car.

"What a fabulous car!" Steve laughs as they drove. Bucky looks at Steve and his heart honestly feels like it's going to burst from his chest.

"Enjoy it quick. It' s going home." Tony mumbles, loud enough to be heard over the engine.

"It was risky, it was bold but it was totally necessary." Bucky smiles and throws his arm around Steve's shoulders.

 

Bucky pulls into a parking lot of a fresh, modern bank building. The clock on the top reads 9:53 AM.

The three of them walk into the building, Bucky with his arm around Steve's waist and Tony trailing behind, mumbling incoherent phrases; some things like 'father', 'kill me', 'stupid car' and 'fuck you guys'.

Bucky leads the way to an open teller window. A woman, around her forties with long blonde hair greets them, a large smile on her face when she sees Bucky.  
"James Barnes?"

"Hello, Frigga." Bucky smiles politely. "How are you?"

Frigga pulls a pen out of her hair and smiles. "I passed a kidney stone Tuesday, so I'm a little pooped but other than that, I'm chipper as can be!" She knits her eyebrows and looks between the three of them. "Say, shouldn't you be in school?"

Bucky lays his savings bonds on the counter in front of Frigga and laughs politely. "Me? I'm out of school, ma'am. In fact. I'm married." Bucky pulls Steve in close and smiles down at him fondly. "This is my husband, Patrick Swayze."

Steve suppresses a laugh.

"And this," Bucky gestures to Tony, "is my brother-in-law...Mick Jagger. Mick, this is Frigga."

Tony isn't amused.

"Is Jagger a Swiss name?" Frigga asks Tony.

"Yeah." Tony huffs, trying so hard not to be rude.

Bucky clears his throat. "I'd like to cash these in, please. We're adopting a baby and we need the cash for a crib, clothers, diapers, food pellets, leash, water dish..."

Frigga takes the bonds with a hearty smile. The latter part of the conversation sails over her like a line drive. "A baby! You must be so excited!"

Tony groans and turns away from the sham.

"We're both thrilled, ma'am." Steve smiles politely. "I'm absolutely looking forward to waking up at four in the morning." Bucky laughs softly at the obvious sarcasm in Steve's voice.

Frigga thumbs through the bonds as she asks, "Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

"Actually, we're hoping for a car." Steve whispers, only so Bucky can hear.

Tony looks around the room and he's spooked by the games playing. He scans the bank nervously and blinks, focuses and blinks again. He spots Bucky's mother with a middle-aged couple and their bored teenage son, who's sitting in a chair with his legs slung over the sides.

Bucky turns to Tony; it's like he's just witnesses an ax murder. 

"Shit..." Bucky and Tony curse together.

"These bonds aren't mature." Frigga gets their attention once again. "If you hold onto them another two years you'll get an additional four dollars..."

"I'm aware of that." Bucky nods.

"You're throwing away four dollars..."

"No, ma'am, I'm giving it to the government. They need it. Do you know what an aircraft carrier's going for these days?"

Bucky, Steve and Tony leave as Bucky's mother conludes her meeting with the family.

 

Bucky pulls into a large parking garage, cuts the engine and gets out with Steve's hand in his. Tony won't get out. Damn, doesn't this guy want to do anything fun today?

"We can't leave the car here." Tony gulps.

"Why not?" Bucky smiles kindly.

"Because we can't! I want it back home where it belongs!"

"What could happen to it? It's in a garage." Steve laughs.

"It could get stolen, wrecked, scratched-- _breathed on wrong_ , a pigeon could shit on it, who knows." Tony's face is turning a brilliant shade of pink and it makes Bucky chuckle.

"Will you please calm down? I'll give the guy a five to watch it." Bucky suggests.

"What guy?"

A tall, weighty looking man walks over to the three of them and gives them a wide, golden smile. His hair is shoulder length and his goatee adds to the whole 'my IQ equals my hourly wage' look. The guy swaggers over to the car, eyeing it over, and Bucky slips him a five.

"You speak any English?" Bucky asks.

"Hey, what country do you think this is?" His voice has a hint of a Spanish accent, but still hardly detectable under his New York accent.

Bucky shrugs. "Okay. I want to you take extra special care of this vehicle, okay?" he pats the attendant on the arm and his ugly smile grows even wider.

"Like it's a beautiful woman."

"I appreciate it."

The attendant very gingerly gets into the car. The Ferrari pulls into the lot very slowly, very carefully. No squealing tires, no revving engine.

"See what a finski can do to a person's attitude? He's going to treat it like a beautiful woman." Bucky beams at Steve and Tony.

Tony huffs. "Yeah, sure. Whip it with a stick and piss on the hood." Steve snorts, but Tony clearly doesn't find it funny at all.

"Oh, please, Tony. Do you have to be so graphic?" Steve chuckles.

 

Bucky takes Steve and Tony to the tallest building in New York. They lean against the bar closest to the window and Bucky has a sudden rush of adrenalin, almost wanting to break through the window and fly to California.

"Do you think the car's alright?"

"Sure. From our vantage point here on the 102nd floor, we are provided with a view of four states." Bucky says quietly, minding a few of the other people on the floor.

"I don't feel good, Buck. Are we gonna stay long?"

Bucky just sighs in response. "Climb up on this."

They all step up onto a railing next to the glass.

"Now, lean against the glass. Like this..." He leans forward, presses his forehead against the glass and looks down at the rushing city. It's such a thrill to see everyone with a destination in mind. Whether they're rushing to get to work, walking quickly to get to a date they're late for or just moping along, talking on their phones or just enjoying the morning light.

The other two lean forward and the sound of their heads hitting the glass echoes around the room.

"Oh, shit!"

"Isn't it great?" Bucky chuckles.

"What if the glass gives?"

"Death."

"Cool." Steve sighs as he watched the cars rush around the streets. "The city looks so peaceful from up here."

"Anything looks peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty three feet."

Tony's looking down at the city, with not so much awe on his face, but shock and anxiousness. "I think I see my Dad."

 

They're sitting in the gallery watching the proceedings, now. Sure, it's interesting, but god damn is it boring.

"Do you love me?" Steve asks, pulling at a loose string of cotton on his jeans. It takes Bucky by surprise, but he's quick with his remark.

"Do you love me?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend.

"I asked you first." Steve smiles up at Bucky.

"Yes. You?"

"Yes."

It makes Bucky's chest hurt with affection again and he smiles fondly at Steve. "Would I trash a day of education to be with you if I didn't love you?"

"Yes."

"Would I risk damaging a deep and wonderfully enriching relationship with my parents if I didn't love you?"

"Yes."

"Would I have introduced you as my husband if I didn't love you?"

"Wait a minute." Steve squints at Bucky. "That was a lie."

"True."

Bucky puts his arm around Steve and pulls him close, giving him a small kiss, yet full of love.

"Would you want to get married? It's legal now, y'know. We could. I mean, if I wasn't an asshole."

"You're not an asshole, Buck. But yeah, sure, I don't see why not."

"Today?" Bucky challenges.

Steve's mouth pushes out when he's deep in concentration, it's really adorable.

"I'm game." Bucky grins. "I'll do it, if you will."

"Seems a bit fast don't you think? I mean, we haven't graduated yet." Steve shoves Bucky's shoulder, but he doesn't break away from Bucky's grip around his shoulders.

"Exactly. We graduate in a month. Then we can get married."

Tony then decides to add his two cents. "You need a blood test."

"Huh?" Steve knits his eyebrows in Tony's direction. He's fiddling with his fingernails, not even bothering to look up at the two others.

"If your blood's not compatible, you could produce a pinhead. The state requires a blood test."

"So?" Bucky shrugs and tilts his head.

"So, you can't get married today."

"How about tomorrow? We can get a blood test this afternoon."

"I'm not getting married." Steve argues.

"I'm with you, babe." Tony nods.

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, why not? Think about it." Steve shrugs a single shoulder and Bucky chuckles.

"Alright, besides being too young and your father hating my guts and not having any place to live and feeling awkward about being the only married jock, give me a good reason why not." 

"I'll give you two. My mother and father." Tony grumbles from his seat. Steve and Bucky look at him curiously. "They're married and they hate each other. You've seen them, Buck. Am I right?"

"You're father's a toad and your mother's always wired out, but so what? They're old. That's natural." Bucky just shrugs and Tony huffs.

"It makes me puke. Seeing people treat each other like that. It's like the car. He loves the car. He hates his wife."

"My parents are divorced," Steve comments, "so what? It's not like it doesn't happen ten thousand times a day."

"Just because it happens doesn't make it right. Are you comfortable with it?"

"No. It's not something I can get comfortable with. I've tried. Are yours divorced?"

"They may as well be." Tony's voice goes quiet and he looks back down at his hands.

"Do you think they're staying together because of you?"

Tony stops for a second. He hasn't seen it in that way before. He'd never considered that maybe they _were_ staying together just because of their son. Tony doesn't say anything, he shrugs instead.

"Do they like you?"

It hasn't occured to Tony that his parents might not like him. That parental love might not be a given. "Yeah. Sure." 

"Consider this...my father canned me, my brother and my mother for a twenty five year old sleaze with fake tits. He dropped us like a rock. Everything was cool at our house. I thought so. We all thought so. Then BLAM! It's over."

This is all news to Bucky. Steve keeps a pretty good secret.

"It was pure selfishness. When I have a kid, I don't care how much I want something, if it's gonna screw-up the kid, forget it."

He's not lying.

"You could change." Tony states.

"Yeah. But I'm gonna try not to. I'm gonna think about it. I'm gonna try to prevent it."

"This is optimism." Bucky speaks up. "It's a common trait with my age group. Adults think it's cute, it's like a charming quick that infests youth. But it's a cool thing and I think, deep down, crusty old shits wish they had some. They wish they had him, too." He points at Steve. "Sorry. He's taken."

"I'd rather not have my family break apart," Tony sighs, "thank you."

"Well, you know what? It ain't up to you." Steve says, "It's out of your hands."

"So, I in other words, I should just sit back and watch it crumble?"

"You're merely an inhabitant in their universe."

"Frightening choice of words, Steve." Bucky whispers.

"They call the shots. When you split from them, you call the shots." Steve says to Tony.

"So, you're saying I should run away?"

"No. He's saying it's time for lunch." Bucky attempts to lighten the mood. "Let's go feed Tony."

They stand up and head out. Steve puts his arm around Tony's shoulder, shaking him in a friendly way to try to make him feel better. Bucky hangs back a moment, cupping his hands to his mouth and yells at the top of his voice: "BUY!"

 

They stand in the foyer of a huge, beautiful French restaurant in the middle of the city. The walls are white marble and decorated gorgeously at the corners. The intricate details capture Steve's full attention while Bucky looks through the reservations book. He finds a booking for a party of three at 12 when the maitre'd returns.

"May I help you?" The maitre'd asks. His French accent is heavy, almost making his English sound, well, not English.

"Yes. I'm Robert Banner. Party of three for twelve." Bucky places a ten on the desk and gets a curious look from the maitre'd. "Is there a problem?"

"You're Robert Banner?" The maitre'd squints at him and Bucky honestly feels slightly offended, though it's ridiculous.

"I'm Robert Banner."

"I'm sorry, son. I'm very busy right now. If you have trouble finding the door..."

Steve tugs Bucky's sleeve. He ignores him.

"Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am?" Bucky cocks his head at the maitre'd.

"I'm suggesting that you  _leave_ before I have to get snooty."

"Snooty?"

"Snotty."

"Snotty!"

Tony puts a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Let's go...Bob."

"I'm not going anywhere. No, we'd like to be seated." Bucky knock impatiently on the foyer desk.

"Listen here, young man, if you three are either outside in two minutes or I call the police."

"The police...you're going to call the police on me? Fine! In fact, you know what? I'm gonna call them myself."

Tony chokes. Steve grits his teeth. The maitre'd smiles smugly.

Bucky picks up the phone and punches out a number. Not long after, the restaurant's second line lights up and the phone rings. The maitre'd motions for the phone so that he can answer the call, but Bucky waves him off angrily.

"You touch me and I yell 'rat!'. There's another phone around here. Find it."

The maitre'd walks away grumpily and Tony shoves at Bucky's shoulder. "Bucky, let's split, please?"

"Tony's right. We're gonna get busted."

A) you can never go too far and B) if Bucky's going to get busted, it's not going to be by a guy like that.

"We're not gonna get busted, not a chance in the world. I've got it all under control, don't even worry, Stevie." He hands the phone to Steve. "Ask for Robert Banner."

Steve patiently waits for the second line to pick up as Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's waist. When the other end picks up, he hears the maitre'd arguing with some other waiter in rowdy French.

"Bonjour." Their known maitre'd answers.

"Hello, may I speak to Mr. Robert Banner?" Steve asks. He's so polite it makes Bucky blush.

"Robert Banner?"

"Yes, please."

"Let me check the restaurant. Could you describe the gentleman for me?"

"Absolutely." Steve turns around and fondly looks Bucky up and down. Bucky twirls slowly, giving Steve a small show. "Short dark hair, gorgeous blue eyes,  _devastatingly_ handsome." Bucky chuckles proudly and holds Steve's hand. "Black hoodie, jeans, leather shoes."

"Hold on one moment."

"Yes, thank you."

 

Bucky, Steve and Tony are seated in the restaurant. The maitre'd is hovering over Bucky.

"I appreciate your understanding." The maitre'd says to Bucky.

"Don't think twice. It's understanding that makes it possible for people like use able to tolerate a person like you. Just leave us to our repast and all will be forgotten." Bucky smiles sweetly up at the man. It's ridiculous, Steve thinks, but the look on his face is just adorable.

"Thank you." The maitre'd sneers.

"Don't mention it."

"Enjoy your lunch." The maitre'd backs away and Bucky's smile returns to his friends. Steve is impressed. Tony is flushed with nerves.

"Stevie, you were wonderful."

"I had a wonderful teacher." Steve plays and Bucky laughs.

"Tony, dear friend?"

Tony looks up.

"You thought we wouldn't have any fun. Shame. On. You."

 

Steve's a person who views life as an ordeal that must be endured. His body is a transport vehicle for his anger. I don't know where he gets this shit. Basically, the family's pretty cool.

Bucky used to think that his family was the only one that had weirdness in it. It used to worry him. Then he met Tony and he saw how his family functioned.

Tony's home life is really shit. He wasn't lying. That's why he's sick all the time. It really upsets him. What he said about his parents hating each other? Bucky refuses to sleep over at his house. His parents fight all the time. Even when he's there. Is there anything worse than being at somebody's house when their parents are fighting? It's the absolute height of social discomfort.

When they go after each other, Tony tightens up. It's scary. He gets so wadded-up, no one could pry his butt apart with a crowbar. The thing with taking his dad's car? It's good for him. It teaches him to deal with his fear. Plus, and he must be honest here, Bucky loves driving it.

 

Bucky has slipped off to the men's room while Tony and Steve are served their lunches. They stare at the plates in utter confusion.

"What is it?" Tony asks, frowning at the meal.

"I don't know. But it looks like it's already been eaten and digested and thrown back up again. Or out the other end."

"Don't say that Steve, we're about to eat."

"I knew it was a mistake letting Bucky order for us."

Bucky returns after a minute or two and drops back into his seat. "What are you doing?"

Tony just glares at Bucky. "What is this shit?"

"You got me. I don't speak French." Bucky picks up his napkin, puts it neatly on his lap and smells his lunch. "I think it's a land-based beefoid creature." He takes a bite and savors the taste. "Splendid."

"Really?" Tony raises his eyebrows, quite shocked that the horrific-looking food could actually have a nice flavour.

"Superb."

Steve and Tony pick up a piece with their forks and chew tentatively. Steve furrows his brow and Tony just stares ahead blankly.

"Good?"

Steve and Tony shrug.

"It's not bad," Steve says after swallowing his mouthful, "but it's not exactly 'splendid', either."

A waiter passes and Bucky shouts, "Yo, Clouseau!" The waiter stops and looks at Bucky indignantly.

"I have a growth on my brain that causes memory lapses. Could you tell me what we ordered here?" Bucky can see Steve smirk cheekily from the corner of his eye. He feels quite proud of his acts.

The waiter glances at the plates. "Sweetbreads."

"Uh, huh. And what might that be?"

"Pancreas."

Steve and Tony stop chewing, holding their sweetbreads in their mouths. Tony snorts and leans over to whisper in Steve's ear. "Told you it probably came out of something." And Steve has to hold back his strong laughter.

Bucky clears his throat and continues speaking to the waiter. "As in the gland that has important functions in digestion and metabolism? ...That secretes a thick, colorless fluid containing digestive enzymes? The home of the world famous isles of Langerhans?"

The waiter nods broadly, knowing that he's spoiling their meal. Steve and Tony look at each other. Bucky pats his mouth with his napkin and looks to Tony and Steve. He raises a finger, holds it a beat and gives a cue. The waiter turns away as the two spit out their food. Bucky watches them then glances at the waiter.

"Check, please!"

 

Bucky decides to take a cab to the Museum. Steve is overly excited and Tony is...Tony. He grumpily agrees and goes along quietly.

Baby chicks are hatching in a huge, round incubator. Steve, Bucky and Tony watch the process intently.

The trio ride in the coal train in the coal mine replica. It's dark, with the exception of the dim light at the front of the train. Bucky jumps at the chance and starts kissing up Steve's neck. Steve's moan is a gentle whisper as Bucky starts kissing along his jawline. Steve turns his head to kiss Bucky full on the mouth. It's hot, there's a great amount of tongue involved, and the darkness around them only makes the whole situation that much more arousing. Tony clears his throat and pats Bucky's shoulder. Steve is disgruntled, but accepts the loss when they realise they're near the end of the tunnel.

They enter a giant, walk-through replica of a human heart, except Tony of course. Tony goes to look at the baby chicks again. Bucky staggers out at the end of it, clutching his heart, feigning a massive heart attack.

Bucky is examining the controls of the captured U-Boat. He checks to see if he's being watched then he presses a button and pulls a lever. For the first time in forty years, the screw turns.

The famous stages of life display which features bottled foetuses. It's in the ninth month, a tiny human being in a jar.

Steve wants to cry. Tony's stomach is in his throat. Bucky is lost in thought.

"I wonder if they have a name?" Steve wonders.

"Ninth Month." Bucky replies blankly.

 

"Are you guys worried about nuclear war?" Tony asks out of the blue.

"Tony, it's a beautiful day, we've won our freedom, we're traveling down one of American's most scenic polluted waterways and you have to bring up nuclear war?" Bucky laughs lightly and looks around at the view.

"It is kind of raggy subject, Ton." Steve tells him.

"Regardless. It's with us every day. The possiblity of global destruction."

"Don't you think it's an issue because people need something to worry about? They have to like, have some major problem that puts all their little bullshit into some kind of persepective?"

"Maybe."

"They used to have Vietnam." Bucky says after a while. "They used to have the oil crisis stuff and Iran. That's over and people have to have their big issue. It's not like somebody came up with the nuclear holocaust yesterday at noon, you know."

"To answer your question...No, I'm not worried about it at all." Steve sighs.

"We don't know when the bombs going off. We do know, however, that college starts in the fall."

"Do you know what a nuclear winter is?" Tony starts a new subject.

There's a long pause before Steve says dully, "Yeah. Everybody's dead, it's real cold and the skiing's for shit."

 

The three are sitting on the aft deck of the tour boat. Their feet are up on the railing, casual and relaxed. It's nice. Well, except for the fact that they're discussing the end of the world.

"My step-father's always going off about how when he was young he was committed to all these causes." Steve says.

"He's full of shit. All the old hippies are full of shit." Bucky tells him.

"He says I don't care about things like he did."

"What's he care about now?"

"Baldness, fatty meats and money."

"I rest my case."

Tony's voice croaks when he speaks up. "What's spooky is they still control everything. They took over when they were young and they never gave it up."

"One of the most frightening experiences of my young life," Bucky starts, "has been observing my parents and our neighbours playing the Baby Boom Edition of Trivial Pursuit. It's chilling to see people crazed with the minutia of their past."

"It's human nature to like what you had better than what you have."

"Agreed." Steve closes his eyes and leans back in his chair.

A loud speaker on the boat identifies a point of interest.

"You know," Tony leans back, put his hands behind his head and yawns, "this is all very interesting  
but I'm starving."

"An hour ago you wanted to throw up." Bucky quickly remarks.

"I feel better now."

"Well then, lean over and grab a fish."

Tony looks over the side of the boat as an obtuse thought flashes through Steve's head.

"What comes after a nuclear winter?"

"Nuclear spring."

 

Bucky sits down with a baseball in hand. The trio sit at Yankee Stadium watching a truly magnificent game, Bucky might say himself. Tony has a box of Nachos in his lap and he's munching away. Bucky shakes his stinging hand and stretches his fingers.

"I think I broke my thumb..." Bucky mutters to himself.

"Can we leave now?" This time it's Steve asking.

"You want to leave? We just got here."

"You got a call, you broke your thumb, what's left to do?"

Tony offers his nachos to Steve. He shakes his head.

"No wonder you're always sick." Steve tells Tony.

Bucky leans back, puts his hands behind his head and turns his face to the hot, bright sun. "Do you realize that if we played by the rules, right now I'd be in gym?"

The three of them laugh. It's a good time.

 

Afternoon traffic. The three are seated in the backseat of a cab; Bucky on one window, Tony on the other, Steve fitting nicely in the middle. Bucky makes conversation with the driver to break the growing silence.

"So..." He leans forward and reads the driver's name off the city license, "So, Yuri, how long have you been in America?"

"One year." It's two words, but his accent is heavy with...is it Russian? Bucky knows Russian. He learnt it in sixth grade.

"What's your overall impression?"

"It's very good here. Much better here than in Russia."

"Yeah, I agree." Bucky smirks.

"You're Russian?"

"I learned the language six years ago."

Bucky sees the driver smile.

"Clearly you've never been to an American high school." Bucky sits back, putting his arm around Steve.

"It's getting late, Buck." Tony says flatly. His eyes are pointedly looking at something--or someone--out the window. "I have to get the car home. I know you don't care, but it means my ass."

"You think I don't care?"

"I know you don't care."

Bucky gasps dramatically and glares at Tony. "That hurts, Tony."

"Jump back, Bucky, Tony's been a good sport."

"Thank you, Steve."

"Tony, what'd you see today?" Bucky asks. "You saw four states, we went to a museum and saw priceless works of art, we ate seventy five dollars worth of cooked pancreas, major league baseball and..." He gives Tony a quizzical look. "Are you gonna chuck your nachos?"

In the gridlock traffic, their cab is squeezed tight alongside another cab. In that cab is...Bucky's father. There's a foot of distance between him and his son and all Bucky can do is gape in shock. He sees his father glance back at his paper before he flips onto the floor of the cab with Tony.

Steve is sitting where Bucky was, wearing Bucky's, looking bored. He turns and glances out the window and waves sweetly. Bucky's dad just stares at him, baffled. He looks away.

Tony and Bucky have their backs to the back of the front seat, feet up on the backseats.

"What's he doing?" Bucky asks smirking up at Steve.

"He's looking at me and he's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands."

"What?!" Bucky almost yells and Steve bursts out laughing.

"Roast!" Steve licks his finger, touches Bucky's knee and makes a sizzling sound. He collapses on the seat in hysterics.

 

A parade is underway. Floats and politicians, marching bands, drum and bugle corps, soldiers, school kids. Figure skating club in outfits and skates performing their routines on pavement.

"He didn't leave, he's probably doing something." Steve tells Tony over the noise. Tony's walking with Steve down the street trying to find Bucky. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Tony," Steve says, "He didn't ditch us, he's definitely here."

"No, he probably went back to school, for all I know."

"He would  _not_ go back to school." Steve laughs.

"Yeah he would. He'd do it just to make me sweat. It makes me mad."

Suddenly, a very recognizable voice comes over a loud speaker and they both stop walking.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you're such a wonderful crowd. We have a little tune for you, one of my personal favourites. And I'd like to dedicate this song to a young man that doesn't think he's seen anything good today."

Tony and Steve turn to face the float in which the sound is coming from and they gape at the sight.

"Tony Stark, this one's for you."

Bucky rises out from the ring of German girls and starts singing. Well, he's not actually singing. He's lip-syncing, but it's pretty convincing.

"HEY! What're you doing?!" Tony yells.

"Get off of the float!" Steve shouts at Bucky as they run to the edge of the float.

"You're out of your mind!" Tony exclaims.

Bucky's still singing, adding a few dance movements to go along with the idiocy. A guard comes to the two and takes them back to the crowd.

They walk along the path, keeping up with the float Bucky's on.

"I love him." Steve smiles.

"It's hard not to." Tony chuckles. As worried as he is about the day and getting caught, he has to admire Bucky for his lack of inhabitions. Tony mumbles a few words. "Stop...water...want...Y'know as long as I've known him, everything works for him. There's nothing he can't handle, I can't handle anything. School, parents, future...Bucky can do anything."

"Do you believe in reincarnation?" Steve asks, the thought running through his mind.

"Huh?"

"Do you believe that you lived before?"

"Yeah. Sort of."

"Do you ever wonder what you were?"

"I don't have to wonder. I know."

Steve looks at him with amazement.

"I was a tractor tire."

Steve laughs and shoves his shoulder playfully. "You're a dork."

"What were you in a previous life?"

"I'm not sure but I think I know who Bucky was."

"Hannibal."

Steve chuckles. "From the A-Team?"

"No. The guy who rode the elephants into Switzerland."

Steve laughs at himself. They step out of the crowd and head down the street in the direction the parade's heading.

"I think if he was anybody, he was Magellan. You know, the guy who went around the world."

Tony simply nods.

"I could see him ignoring popular belief and taking off on some impossible mission."

"Yeah. As long as I've known him, everything works for him. There's nothing he can't handle. I can't handle anything. School, parents, the future. Bucky can do anything."

Steve sighs. "The future's worse for a us, isn't it?"

Tony doesn't understand what he means.

"A girl can always bail out and have a baby and get some guy to support her."

"That's a pretty grim thought." Tony comments.

"True, but it's an option."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do." Tony shrugs and kicks a stone across the pavement.

"You can always go to college. I mean, if you or your parents have the money."

"Yeah, but to do what?"

"What are you interested in?"

Tony takes a deep breath, stops walking and looks at Steve. "Nothing."

Steve smiles. "Me either."

Bucky finishes his song and Tony yells out, "You're crazy!"

"What do you think Bucky's gonna do?" Tony asks out of interest.

"Probably be a hot dog stand owner on Mars."

 

They're sitting in a booth in the garish, nearly deserted strip joint. Tony's mouth is open in amazement. Steve and Bucky are both  
embarrassed and bemused.

Tony's eyes are glued to a stripper's breasts. "How does she do that? One goes one way, one goes the other--it's marvelous."

"She's probably schizophrenic." Bucky replies.

"Buck, this is making me uncomfortable. Really. I'm losing respect for you by the bucket."

"You don't think it's amazing that we got in?"

"Who wants to get in?"

"Tony looks like a toddler, for Christ's sake. I'm talking about a major achievement in false identification."

"I'm not interested in watching women jiggle their mammary glands."

"Neither am I, but it's so much fun to watch. But consider why she does it. Why she strips and you don't."

"I'm not a tramp." Steve replies.

"Maybe her life fell apart. Maybe she lost somebody. A lover. A boyfriend. A parent. A child..." Bucky trails off.

This kind of thing makes Bucky a little depressed. Someone may think because he's the age he is that he's a sex maniac. That sex is all he think about. But that's not true. He's a romantic. He thinks a lot of people his age are. They think about love and matters of the heart. And SAT scores and acne aside, they worry about loneliness. It's a terrible thing. And they feel it. He feels it.

He flips his collar up, curls his lip and affects an Elvis impression. A sappy, do-wop track fades in, the club lights go down and Tony and Steve disappear into darkness. Bucky stands up from the booth. He strolls slowly through the empty club as the stripper bumps and grinds in a pool of blue light.

"You know, someone said the world's a stage and each must play a part / Fate had me playing in love, with you as my sweetheart / Act one was when we met / I loved you at first glance / You read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue / Then came act two / You seemed to change / You acted strange / And why, I've never known."

Bucky climbs up on the little runway. The stripper disappears into darkness as Bucky takes over the spotlight.

"Honey, you lies when you said you loved me and I had no cause to doubt you / But I'd rather go on hearing your lies than to go on living without you / Now, the stage is bare and I'm standing there with emptiness all around and if you won't come back to me, then they can bring the curtain down..."

The original Elvis song fades in and Bucky lip syncs with the big, dramatic flourish that was the King's trademark ballad sign-off.

_Is your heart filled with pain?_  
 _Shall I come back again?_  
 _Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?_

Bucky drops his head, just like the King would.

 

The three are waiting for the Ferrari when they hear tyres squealing, an engine revving, and the Ferrari pulls down the ramp and jams to a frightening stop.

"Wow, that was fast." Steve whistles.

A darker guy jumps out and Bucky hands him the parking stub.

"This looks okay to me, Tony." Bucky says cheekily.

"Yeah, it looks great, let's roll." Tony responds sharply.

"Just out of curiosity, what was your top speed coming down the ramp?" Bucky asks.

"About sixty." The guy says, matter-of-factly.

"Stunning!"

He hands him a buck, opens the door and pulls the passenger seat forward for Tony.

"This is probably the last time you'll have to ride back here. Keep that in mind."

Tony gives him a look and squeezes in.

 

Steve's in the passenger seat, Bucky is driving and Tony is relaxed in the back.

"What's next?" Steve asks Bucky.

"Nothing." Tony replies in a low murmer. "We return the car."

"We could go to my house." Steve ignores Tony's whining. "My parents aren't coming home until late."

"Well, we do have enough cash left for a quick flight to Coney Island and back."

"Very funny." Tony monotones.

Bucky looks in the mirror and changes lanes. He glances down at the speedometer, then to the road. And back to the speedometer. "Hey, Tony? How many miles did you say this thing had when we left?"

"One hundred and twenty six and halfway between three and four tenths. Why? How many miles are on it now?" He glances down at the speedometer. 432.7.

Here's where Tony goes berserk.

Tony yells at the top of his lungs for about five minutes. Without a single breath. Is that what he's been holding in this whole time?

Steve turns in his seat and looks at Tony. His gesture is one of genuine support.

"Tony? You okay?"

Tony is clearly not okay. No. Not as okay as he was before the yelling. His eyes are frozen in a mindless, vacant stare and he's not blinking. Bucky looks at Steve, concerned. He's never had to deal with this kind of thing with anyone before and he's not sure how he's going to help Tony out of this.

"Hey, Tony. It's okay. We'll fix it."

Tony's still holding the stare and he starts to breathe heavily and tremble.

Steve whips around in his seat and grabs Tony's arms. "Tony! Cut it out! What's wrong?! Bucky!" Bucky only shoots Steve a look.

"Tony, are you okay? It's no problem, really. Your old man won't know a thing. It's completely fixable."

Steve fires an angry look at Bucky. "Shut up! It is a problem! For him it's a problem. Nothing's a problem for you. But it's a problem for him! So, just shut up." He turns back to Tony. "What can I do, Tony?"

Bucky stares ahead. He knows what he's doing.

 

Tony's laying on a picnic table, Steve's sitting beside him on the table, stroking his hair. Bucky is sat at Tony's feet, staring at the grass.

This may very well be for real. He thinks Tony might have blown a micro-chip or two. He's always been a little keyed-up. All he wanted to do was give him a good day. They're gonna graduate in a month. Then they have the summer. Tony and Bucky'll work. And they'll see each other at night and on the weekends but then Tony'll go to one school and Bucky'll go to another. And basically that'll be it. As much as they like each other, the process of growing up will separate them.

Steve's a bigger problem. He still has another year of high school. How does Bucky deal with that? He was serious when he said he'd marry him. He would. This isn't just teenage infatuation. That's what my parents call it. What do they call what they have? If that's love, I'll take infatuation.

Tony's never been in love. At least no one's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first person he lays. And they're gonna treat him like shit because he's gonna kiss their ass for giving him what he's built-up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existance.They won't respect him because you can't respect someone who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.

"Buck?" Steve asks. "We better try something else."

He's being tested here. His best friend has flipped-out. Conventional wisdom would suggest a visit to the nearest trauma center. He wouldn't fault anybody for doing that. Him, personally, he thinks this calls for something new, something bold, something wet and wild.

 

Bucky and Steve are in Steve's parents' Jacuzzi. Their clothes are tosssed around the deck. Tony's been placed in a patio chair at the edge of the Jacuzzi. He's still catatonic. He's mummbling softly. Bucky's drinking a beer and sharing Oreos with Steve.

"You feeling any better, Tony?" Bucky calls to him.

"The water's good. I wish you'd come in."

"Surgery...fire...move..."

Steve looks at Bucky and Bucky just offers his beer.

"Tony? Do you think this because of the car or is it a combination of everything shitty in your life?" Bucky asks.

"Bucky!"

"What?"

"Music...kiss...attack..."

Steve sips the beer.

"You just can't deal with any more shit? The car took you into the red zone? Time for a reality check?"

"Tony? I could flip real easy, too. There's nothing wrong with it. At one time or another, everybody goes to the zoo." Steve sympathises.

"Maybe he was actually sick. Maybe he wasn't bullshitting himself." Bucky wonders aloud.

"Gesundheit...God...mercy..."

Bucky and Steve watch their catatonic friend.

Tony smiles. 

Steve leans forward and stares at Tony.

Bucky cocks his head, wondering what Tony's up to.

Tony keels over forward. He falls out of the chair and splashes down, face-first, into the water. Steve screams and Bucky leaps for him.

Bucky's struggling with Tony's lifeless bulk as he attempts to bring him back up to the surface. Bucky grabs Tony's collar, rips him out of the water and sits him on the edge of the Jacuzzi.

"TONY!" Bucky screams.

Tony's eyes are closed, his body lifeless.

Bucky's terrified, he starts shaking Tony. "Tony? Tony! C'mon buddy, wake up! Wake up!" Bucky slaps his face, not getting a response. "Shit, TONY!"

Steve is horrified as he sits on the side of the Jacuzzi.

Then. A grin spreads across Tony's face and he opens his eyes. Bucky sees it and stops shaking him. Bucky and Tony are looking at each other. Steve's just staring at Tony.

Tony's eyes are on Bucky, and looking at him with some look of amazement in his eyes. "James Buchanan Barnes, you're my hero."

"Oh..you..you DICK! You absolute asshole!" Bucky cackles when Tony explodes with laughter. Steve's still staring at Tony.

"What's so funny?"

 

Bucky, Tony and Steve are sitting in the garage. The Ferrari is jacked up, a brick put on the accelerator and the gear stick put into reverse, the wheels turning, the engine racing. 

"The whole time I was just thinking things over. I was like, meditating. Then, I sort of watched myself from the inside. I realised it was ridiculous, being afraid. Worrying about everything. Wishing I was dead and all that shit. I'm tired of it. It's been the best day of my life." Tony smiles kindly at Steve and Bucky. "I'm gonna miss you guys next year"

"Tony?" Steve asks after a minute of thinking. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Well, you just asked two, but sure."

"Did you see me change out of my clothes by the Jacuzzi?"

A smirk lifted on Tony's face and Steve laughs.

"You're just jealous of his bod, don't deny it." Bucky laughs.

"It's okay," Steve grins at Tony, "I'm not embarrassed."

Tony laughs and goes back to his thinking. "I've been thinking all day that if you could only have the use of one word, what would it be?" Tony thinks out loud.

"Steve is naked before your eyes and you're thinking about words?"

"God bless you, Tony."

"Thank you, Steve. If you guys only had one word, what would it be?"

"I can't believe you'd think up something like with a naked guy in a Jacuzzi right in front of you." Bucky smirks.

"Come on, Bucky, answer his question." Steve enthuses him.

"Bathroom."

"I'd say..." He thinks.

Bucky answers for him. "Cash."

"It's the only word you could ever use." Tony reminds the two of them.

"Hello." Bucky admits.

"Love." Steve adds.

"And what if you loathe somebody? Are you going to say 'love' every time you see them?" Bucky asks.

"It's better than 'hello'."

"Hello's generic."

"You wanna be generic?"

"It's help." Tony smiles at his own wisdom. Bucky and Steve think about it. It's a good choice. Tony gets up and walks to the Ferrari. "The word is help." Tony peeks in the window. "Bucky! Nothing's happening." Tony pulls his head out of the car. "Bucky? It's not working. The miles aren't coming off, running it in reverse like this."

Bucky and Steve gets up and walk over to the car. "Huh." Bucky sighs as he looks at the odometer. "I thought that might be a problem. Let's crack it open and roll it back by hand."

Tony shakes his head. "No, forget it. Forget it. I gotta take a stand. I'm bullshit. I put up with everything. My old man pushes me around...and I never say anything! Well, he's not the problem, I'm the problem." Tony leans down and rests his hands on the bonnet of the car. "I gotta take a stand. I gotta take a stand against  _him._ I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm gonna take a stand. I'm gonna defend it. Right or wrong, I'm gonna defend it."

Tony steps back from the car and considers it for a second. Suddenly, he kicks the bumper and Steve jumps. Steve starts to walk over to Tony but Bucky holds him back.

Tony kicks the bumper twice more. "I am so sick of his shit!" He fumes. "I can't stand him and I hate this fucking car!" Tony's kicking the grill as he speaks. "Who do you love?! Who do you love? You love a car! You son of a bitch!"

Steve turns away with his eyes closed.

The jack starts tipping backwards and Bucky can't find the words to tell Tony to stop.

Tony's still kicking the car. He breaks a light, kicks the grill in and stomps on the bonnet. He runs in for a final kick and stops right before he does. 

Bucky gapes at Tony with his eyes wide.

Tony...laughs. He laughs. "Shit." He laughs again. "I dented the shit out of it. Good! Howard'll come home, he'll see what I did. I can't hide this. He'll come come, he'll see what I did and he'll have to deal with me. I don't care, I really don't. I'm just tired of being afraid." Tony smiles at Bucky and takes a deep breath. "I can't wait to see the look on the bastard's face--"

Tony leans his foot on the bonnet which is the worst decision.

The jack falls back onto the cement, the spinning tires slam down on the cement and exits the garage through the second story window. The glass smashes and the $50,000 unmanned investment plummets to the ground below.

Tony's staring with a blank look on his face at the shattered window. No one's saying anything. There's nothing to say at the moment. Bucky turns to look at Tony in shock before walking to the window with Steve. They both look down at the wreck.

"What'd I do." Tony monotones.

Bucky and Steve don't answer. Instead, they turn to look at him sadly.

"What'd I do." Tony repeats.

"Tony. You killed the car."

Tony walks over to the window to join the other two. He looks down and he can honestly feel his heart in his mouth. "H-holy shit!" Tony yells and runs his hands through his hair.

Tony walks back into the garage and looks into his yard.

"Tony, it's my fault." Bucky says behind him. "I'll take the heat for it. We'll wait for your father to come home and when he gets here I'll tell him that I did it. He hates me anyway."

"No." Tony turns to face Bucky and shakes his head. "I'll take it."

Bucky shakes his head.

"No, I will take it."

"No. No, you don't want this much heat."

"I want it! If I didn't want it, I wouldn't've let you take the car out this morning."

"No, I made you take the car this morning!"

"I could've stopped you. It is possible to stop James Barnes, you know. No, I want it, I'll take it. That's it. When Howard comes home, he and I will just have a little chat."

Steve chuckles warmly and Bucky smiles proudly at his best friend.

"It's okay. It's gonna be good. Thanks, anyway."

 

"I had a great time today." Steve smiles at Bucky as he wraps his arms around his waist. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

"You think Tony's gonna be alright?"

"Sure. He had to do it, I guess. His old man had it coming. I think, for the first time in his life he's going to be okay."

Steve smirks, an thought flashing in his mind. "You knew what you were doing when you woke up this morning, didn't you?"

"Me? Nah."

He leans in and kisses Steve nicely. When they pull apart, Bucky looks at Steve's watch.

"Oh, shit. I have to go." He kisses Steve again. "I'll call you tonight."

Steve nods and Bucky runs to the fence. "I LOVE YOU!" Steve yells. He can hear Bucky call out, 'I love you, too!' as he jumps the fence and his smile grows even wider. "He's gonna marry me." Steve whispers to himself and runs back inside.

Bucky runs over the street, runs through a few backyards and around pools. He snatches a coke can from a man cooking a barbecue as he runs past and jumps from a trampoline into his backyard. He tries the back door. Locked. He looks under the mat where the key is...was. There's a clear outline of where it would have been resting. A dress shoe steps into his line of sight and Bucky looks up in horror.

"Looking for this?" Fury's holding the spare key.

Bucky stands up and looks him in the eye, his own eyes wide.

"I've got you, Barnes. I have dreamed about this, and this time, god  _damn_ you little bastard. I've got you right where I want you." He smirks evilly. "How would you feel about another  _year_ oh high school? Hm? Under my close, personal supervision." _  
_

Natasha opens the back door, steps out and greets Fury. She turns to Bucky and says, "Thank God you're alright, do you know we've been worried sick about you?" Natasha smiles subtly at Bucky and winks. "Thank you, Mr Fury, for driving him home." She looks to Bucky again and says, "Now, I want you to go upstairs and get in bed."

Bucky glances at Fury and his face is full with terror and defeat. He walks inside, touching Natasha's arm as he passes as a show of gratitude.

"Scoot!" Natasha laughs. "Can you imagine someone as sick as Bucky trying to  _walk_ home from the hospital? Oh, kids! And by the way, Mr Fury...you left your wallet on the kitchen floor." She holds it up and tosses it into the pond.

Bucky's moving quickly around his room. He pulls his jumper over his head and throws it onto his chair. He toes his shoes off and kicks them towards the cupboard. Bucky pushes the dummy off his bed and jumps in. He's relaxed and has his eyes closed when he hears his sound system snoring. He picks up a lone baseball from beside his bed, hits it right on the off button and falls back right as his bedroom door opens.

His parents are both there, back home from work. His mother walks over and puts her hand on Bucky's head. "He's still awfully warm."

"How do you feel?" His father asks.

"One hundred and fifty percent better, thank you. Please, don't make me stay home again. I wanna go to school, I have to graduate next month. And I..I w--"

"James, you're sick." No shit, Dad. "Don't go pushing it and making it worse."

Bucky sighs. "Maybe you're right, Dad."

"I know I'm right, pal."

His mother smiles sweetly at him. "How'd you get to be so sweet?"

"Years of practice." Bucky chuckles.

His mother leans down and kisses him on the cheek. "I'm going to get myself settled and make you a hot cup of cocoa, okay?"

Bucky nods and smiles in satisfaction.

They both walk out of his room, closing the door behind them. Bucky sighs. Yep.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](http://bucnanan.tumblr.com/)


End file.
